Don't Let Toxic People Thrive On You

Sunday, November 23, 2008 13 comments

I am very careful about who and what I allow into my life. Anyway that you look at it, it is a shield I attempt to build around myself.

I am a firm believer, as you well know if you have spent anytime on this site, that like attracts like. We are, and bring into our lives that which we think about. This thought creates the next moment and action, and so on. Every person, and situation creates a perception, and you begin to become, that which you surround yourself with.

Because of these beliefs, I do not watch much TV at all. If I want to know what goes on in the news, I look on line, so that I can filter in only what I choose to. I do watch a movie now and then, but even then, I am careful about what I watch. I want to surround myself with as many good vibes as possible, and attempt to filter out any of the negative ones.

One of the biggest contributors, in my opinion, that chips away, bit by bit, at our self-esteem and confidence is, our :”Bad Twin”, as I like to call it. You know who I’m talking about. We all have one, and at times, we all let it take control over us, and it almost always has disastrous results. This “Bad Twin” comes in many forms, but for the purpose of this article, I am only going to talk about one.

It’s that loud voice that sometimes shouts, and sometimes is whispering quietly, inside our heads telling us all kinds of crazy little untruths about ourselves, others and some situations. It snatches a hold of our magnificent imaginations, and then seems to take great joy in making us miserable, by saying things like; I’m too fat; too short; that was stupid; you dummy; why I can’t do that, and the list just keeps growing. Sometimes, it concocts elaborate story lines to go along with it, because once it has gotten our curious imaginations to give it a hand, there is no telling where things can go from there.

It also likes to listen to and storehouse all those nasty things that others have said to us over the years, and it stores them all deep inside our mind where we are usually too busy with our lives to bother to go look for them and clean house. Then bam, when you least expect it, or least need it bothering you, it starts pulling out some of those memories…just so you don’t forget…and starts talking inside your head. I am learning to filter out these thoughts, as well. They only bring in, and create negative vibrations and energy into my life. I am learning to change the “nasty voice” within my head, replacing it with encouragement.

When it comes to people, I am even more cautious, and because of this, I have been accused of not letting people in, which many times is true. I am one of those that have many acquaintances, but very few people I consider to be friends, and I shower all of my love on those few. This fact, often times, bothers me, because I want to be able to give freely of myself to all people without reservation, or expectation of anything in return. Everyone has something special to offer, even if you have to look a little harder with some than others, to find it, and bring it to the surface.

This creates a conflict within me, at times, because I believe that we become like those, and are transformed by those, that we associate ourselves with. I know who I am attempting and working very hard to be, and I want to surround myself with those people that are working at being that same sort of person. Those people that respect me, and make me feel good about myself. I want to be with those people that encourage, and lightly nudge you towards your aspirations, and to stay away from those that suck out my spirit and power, for no other purpose but to make their selves feel better. Because they have so little self-esteem and confidence in themselves, or aspirations of improving who they are, and where they are going, and hate to see others that do.

Guy Finley, who has written over 30 self-transformational books and audio programs, states that we should stay away from these four types of “toxic people”, and by recognizing and learning about these people, it will help us to identify some of these traits and gray areas within ourselves.

Muckrakers – These people relish in being a victim, and love to drag up a past emotional pain, and relive the anger, hurt, resentment that goes along with the memory. Always living in the past, and blaming it for the reason they are unable to accomplish something today.

Mud Slingers – We have all come across the person that thrives on putting others down, judging, criticizing, either to their face, but most normally, behind their back. Gossiping about anyone that has ever had the bad luck of entering into their lives, and they love to pull whomever they are not talking about at the moment, into their web, to listen, and hopefully join into their current crusade.

Swamp Dwellers – These people thrive on low vibrations and dark dissonance, and seek out another human to play out their endless need to dredge up dreadful mental images of past and future events, for the pure sake of the reactions they produce.

Life Haters – These people refuse to see anything good that life has to offer, and look for anyone they can to feel sorry for them, and to deal with their anger, cruelty, and irritation with life, and to feed their addiction to their own gloom.

Of course there are others:

The alcohol and drug abuser.

The sufferer – who always has some sort of peculiar ailment or another, when they are not being paid enough attention to.

We all have come across these people, and most of us, at one time or another have had part of these traits within ourselves, even if just for a short time. Sometimes you can’t avoid them, such as a co-worker, but we have to make every attempt at not allowing them to suck us into their web. We have to know and recognize these games, and see it for what it is, whether it is coming from someone else, or from within ourselves.
Just as harmful viruses require a human host to exist and thrive, so do negative states require the unconscious consent of human beings to carry out their dark mission. For what power does a negative thought have other than the power to convince a person to do its bidding? The answer is none!
When we begin to consciously withdraw our consent to associate with toxic people, and the toxic thoughts and feelings inside of us, we leave them with no place to thrive. Our real inner work is to sweep clean the places in ourselves where such creatures reside, which in turn brightens our life and the lives of everyone around us. ~Guy Finley~

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13 comments: to “ Don't Let Toxic People Thrive On You so far...

  • aries_arevalo_ax 11/27/08, 8:13 AM

    this is a nice fyi, do you mind if i could grab this article and share it in my site? thanks in advance...


  • searchingwithin 11/27/08, 8:36 AM

    Thank you aries arevalo ax, I am happy that you enjoyed the article. As far as grabbing it to use on your site, yes, I do mind. My articles are written by me.

    You are more than welcome to refer to it, and link back to it, but not to take it, and use it.

    Also, Google does not favor such actions favorably.

  • Anonymous 12/2/08, 12:47 AM

    I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  • My Autism Insights 12/2/08, 4:37 PM

    You're doing good work here and so I've nominated you for the Lemonade Award because of your positive attitude! Pop by my blog for details!

  • Dolly's Diary 12/2/08, 5:11 PM

    I have just started reading your blog more often than before. I really like your blog. Great posts. I posted an award for you on my blog.
    Take Care,
    Janet :)

  • Shinade 12/3/08, 4:22 PM

    This is a wonderful post. I read it with great interest. I am adding you into my favorites so I can visit more often.

    Blessings of peace:-)

  • Fay 12/27/08, 2:32 PM

    Congratulations, "Valley of the Subconscious" has been reviewed and added to Blogging Women.

    This is the second blog of yours that I have reviewed and I'm very pleased with the hard work that you continue to do.

    Keep up the great work and a big thank you for sharing this blog with me and now the readers of our blog directory..

  • Daisy 2/17/09, 5:52 PM

    Many many thanks for that article. It was exactly what i needed. I just discovered your site looking for such an article tonight and am sure I'll be back. I will use your words in letters to 2 people i need to get out of my life unless they want to turn themselves around. Bless you :o) x

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