Humans need to feel in control. In control of their lives, emotions, destinies, and many times those around us, in an attempt to achieve their hearts desires. But in order to be in control of these things, we must be in control of ourselves. In order to be in control of ourselves, we must first begin to know ourselves. Why do we behave the way we do, feel the way we do, believe the things we do?
We all have core beliefs, some of which we may not realize, and many of them formed when we were children, and taken on as our own, even though they came from our parents, teachers, priests, etc. Many times the authority figures of our youth, although they can also come from other children, through the way they relate to us, and things they say to us.
For example, if at some point during your youth, a coach embarrassed you by telling you that you will never be a good baseball hitter in front of your peers, and you take on that belief, you will go throughout your life, performing a subconscious, self sabotaging behavior that will always lead you to being a below average hitter. You don’t even know that you are the cause. You may be excellent at every other part of the game, throwing, catching, etc., but when it comes time for you to come up to bat… Furthermore, each time you strike out, you are only re-enforcing that original belief. Round and round the merry-go-round.
Many of us do it all the time in our relationships with the opposite sex. If somewhere along the line, you came to believe that you are not good enough, you will continue to self-sabotage your relationships, and then tell yourself that it didn’t work out, because, of course, you are not good enough.You search our whole life for the love that you so desperately want and need, only to push it away with all your might when you find it.
Many people that are over weight are over weight, because of a core belief. As an example, one of them that many people fall for is that, they believe they inherited their weight problem, and your genetics do play its part. However, as long as that is one of their core beliefs, they will always have a weight problem. Many advertisers only play into that belief, as part of their advertising strategy, because they tell you it’s not you fault, but they have the cure all products to save you.
The little “nasty voice” inside our head only continues to reinforce these beliefs further. You know the voice I’m talking about. The one that calls you a dummy, stupid, and all those other nasty things it likes to say to you.
Many of these core beliefs come out of hiding by triggers. A trigger can be anything. A sight, sound, tone of voice, touch, that causes a part of us to react without thinking. The ones that cause us problems are the ones that have caused us pain or fear. It has been referred to as one of your inner protector or “Ego Caretaker”, that recognizes the trigger, and then tries to handle it for you, and I don’t mean a separate personality like Sybil had. That is an extreme case. In the case of the baseball coach mentioned above, a trigger could possibly be the tone of voice that he used. When you hear that tone in the future, the subconscious picks up on this and your inner protector, or subconscious takes over with a primary emotion, and you react without a thought, not always understanding what or why. Many of us then want to pass the blame on the person that just caused the reaction, never stopping to realize that it came from within ourselves.
Not only that, but a core belief can make you very bias, by only allowing you to see those things that reinforce this belief, and ignore any proof that shows or proves anything otherwise. They will control a large part of your life, and they will attract to you the people and situations, which will be in line with your core beliefs.
Unlike an ordinary belief that can be changed if you are given proof that it is not valid, a core belief holds on for dear life. The deeper a belief is in your mind, the harder it becomes to change it, and the more you or someone attempts to change it, the harder it holds on. They are deep within the subconscious, and are unaffected by the logic of your conscious mind. They expose your deepest vulnerabilities and pain, and help to keep them locked deep within you. A great little story that explains core beliefs very well; you will enjoy it.
The first step in changing them is becoming aware of them. You have to be able to observe yourself more closely. Become more self-aware. Recognize when you have been triggered, and what may have been said, heard, touched, tasted, etc., that triggers the emotion that causes you to react. This will help you learn what some of those beliefs are, and possibly where they originated from. Triggers can wreak havoc on your life and relationships, and addictions are linked to those negative core beliefs, and an attempt at adapting, and running from them.
“Almost every unbalanced or negative belief seems to be connected in some way with your deepest thoughts or feelings about being” John NuttingOur belief system is our map of the world, to prepare, protect, and interpret the actions around us. Your negative core beliefs will cause you to misinterpret, your surroundings, and those that you come in contact with.
The videos below are excellent, and are done by Tad and Adriana James. The second and third, demonstrate how they helped one women come to realize a core belief.
NLP, hypnosis and meditation, are ways that I have come to learn and deal with some of my core beliefs. As I discover and take baby steps at correcting and working to change them, my self-esteem and outlook on life has changed tremendously.
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