How Core Beliefs Impact Your Life

Thursday, September 25, 2008 2 comments

Humans need to feel in control. In control of their lives, emotions, destinies, and many times those around us, in an attempt to achieve their hearts desires. But in order to be in control of these things, we must be in control of ourselves. In order to be in control of ourselves, we must first begin to know ourselves. Why do we behave the way we do, feel the way we do, believe the things we do?

We all have core beliefs, some of which we may not realize, and many of them formed when we were children, and taken on as our own, even though they came from our parents, teachers, priests, etc. Many times the authority figures of our youth, although they can also come from other children, through the way they relate to us, and things they say to us.

For example, if at some point during your youth, a coach embarrassed you by telling you that you will never be a good baseball hitter in front of your peers, and you take on that belief, you will go throughout your life, performing a subconscious, self sabotaging behavior that will always lead you to being a below average hitter. You don’t even know that you are the cause. You may be excellent at every other part of the game, throwing, catching, etc., but when it comes time for you to come up to bat… Furthermore, each time you strike out, you are only re-enforcing that original belief. Round and round the merry-go-round.

Many of us do it all the time in our relationships with the opposite sex. If somewhere along the line, you came to believe that you are not good enough, you will continue to self-sabotage your relationships, and then tell yourself that it didn’t work out, because, of course, you are not good enough.You search our whole life for the love that you so desperately want and need, only to push it away with all your might when you find it.

Many people that are over weight are over weight, because of a core belief. As an example, one of them that many people fall for is that, they believe they inherited their weight problem, and your genetics do play its part. However, as long as that is one of their core beliefs, they will always have a weight problem. Many advertisers only play into that belief, as part of their advertising strategy, because they tell you it’s not you fault, but they have the cure all products to save you.

The little “nasty voice” inside our head only continues to reinforce these beliefs further. You know the voice I’m talking about. The one that calls you a dummy, stupid, and all those other nasty things it likes to say to you.

Many of these core beliefs come out of hiding by triggers. A trigger can be anything. A sight, sound, tone of voice, touch, that causes a part of us to react without thinking. The ones that cause us problems are the ones that have caused us pain or fear. It has been referred to as one of your inner protector or “Ego Caretaker”, that recognizes the trigger, and then tries to handle it for you, and I don’t mean a separate personality like Sybil had. That is an extreme case. In the case of the baseball coach mentioned above, a trigger could possibly be the tone of voice that he used. When you hear that tone in the future, the subconscious picks up on this and your inner protector, or subconscious takes over with a primary emotion, and you react without a thought, not always understanding what or why. Many of us then want to pass the blame on the person that just caused the reaction, never stopping to realize that it came from within ourselves.

Not only that, but a core belief can make you very bias, by only allowing you to see those things that reinforce this belief, and ignore any proof that shows or proves anything otherwise. They will control a large part of your life, and they will attract to you the people and situations, which will be in line with your core beliefs.

Unlike an ordinary belief that can be changed if you are given proof that it is not valid, a core belief holds on for dear life. The deeper a belief is in your mind, the harder it becomes to change it, and the more you or someone attempts to change it, the harder it holds on. They are deep within the subconscious, and are unaffected by the logic of your conscious mind. They expose your deepest vulnerabilities and pain, and help to keep them locked deep within you. A great little story that explains core beliefs very well; you will enjoy it.

The first step in changing them is becoming aware of them. You have to be able to observe yourself more closely. Become more self-aware. Recognize when you have been triggered, and what may have been said, heard, touched, tasted, etc., that triggers the emotion that causes you to react. This will help you learn what some of those beliefs are, and possibly where they originated from. Triggers can wreak havoc on your life and relationships, and addictions are linked to those negative core beliefs, and an attempt at adapting, and running from them.

“Almost every unbalanced or negative belief seems to be connected in some way with your deepest thoughts or feelings about being” John Nutting
Our belief system is our map of the world, to prepare, protect, and interpret the actions around us. Your negative core beliefs will cause you to misinterpret, your surroundings, and those that you come in contact with.

The videos below are excellent, and are done by Tad and Adriana James. The second and third, demonstrate how they helped one women come to realize a core belief.

NLP, hypnosis and meditation, are ways that I have come to learn and deal with some of my core beliefs. As I discover and take baby steps at correcting and working to change them, my self-esteem and outlook on life has changed tremendously.

10 Best-Selling Hypnosis Downloads

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A Workout For Your Mind - Mastermind

Friday, September 19, 2008 3 comments

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Emotions, The Center of Social Interactions and Communication

Monday, September 15, 2008 2 comments

I don’t think that there is any doubt that emotions play an important part in all of our lives. In every moment we experience them, and are faced with a choice as to how we choose to respond to them. Most of us don’t always understand the emotions that we are feeling during certain circumstances. If we want to know more about ourselves, and understand those around us better, we need to understand emotions. Good communication is essential in our relationships, and one of the most important factors in good communication is understanding what the other party is expressing to you and why. Being able to stand in their shoes and look through their eyes and mind. As well as being able to express to others well.

Emotions are our psychological reward or punishment. In most cases, our emotions are more important than our intellect when determining what our attitude and reactions are going to be, and in forming many decisions. Our ego speaks louder than logic or words. The heart rules the mind. It has been referred to as the “Ego-Caretaker, and has been said that it is the “being of human beings”, and an element of survival. If you are capable of mastering many of the elements of survival, it can leave you free to transform these ego driven feelings, and replace them with intuitive wisdom.

According to experts, we have primary and secondary emotions, and hundreds have been documented over the centuries. The primary emotions are the ones that we feel first, our gut, instinctive, unthinking reaction, and then those emotions disappear quickly, many times as quickly as they appeared, and lead to the secondary emotions. Most normally the primary emotions, which can also be felt as secondary emotions, are happiness, sadness, fear and anger, and are very powerful. Although, disgust, surprise, excitement, loneliness, gratitude and humility, are sometimes classified as primary emotions. They are where all other emotions originate. It is believed that they have an evolutionary basis, as they are also expressed in many animals, also.

The secondary emotions are where things become a bit more complicated. They can be triggered by the primary emotions, such as when you experience fear; it can lead to anger, to prepare the body for the fight response. But they can become complicated when more emotions join into the mixture. For example, jealousy stems partly from anger, fear, and sadness. Relief is a combination of anticipated fear with happiness.

Normally, we are expressing our secondary emotions, and the other party is experiencing them. But to understand ourselves, so that we can communicate to someone else honestly, getting to the bottom of the problem, and so they can understand how we are feeling and why, we have to know what the gut reaction was that started the chain reaction of emotions to begin with. That’s where the real issue lies.

The secondary emotions are also important in understanding others; as they help you get a better understanding of how the other person mentally processes the primary emotion. Normally, the whole process is being done subconsciously, and the person feeling the emotion, has no idea what is happening. If you are able to slow down their mental process to determine their internal reasoning as to why they arrived at the secondary emotions, it may come as a big surprise to both of you.

There is no question that social relations are the prime instigator of emotions (Kemper, 1978; de Rivera & Grinkis, 1986). Other people, or groups of others, are normally are largest cause for emotions. We are social creatures. When you are able to get down to the heart of the primary emotion, and its trigger, normally people are involved. We all have our individual basic emotional needs, and in varying degrees of importance. Many of our emotions stem from one of those needs not being met sufficiently, which triggers that primary, gut reaction. The best way to truly get to know yourself and others, is to discover what your/their most important emotional needs are.

Even though at times it may feel like a curse, we are blessed with the ability to feel emotions. Without them, we would be unable to obtain unity.

One way to discover what your most important emotional needs are, is to ask some basic questions. A method used by NLP Experts.

What do I want most? It does matter if the answer is material or emotional
Take that answer and ask, What will that give me that I don’t already have?
Take that answer and ask, What will that give me that I don’t already have?
Once again, take that answer and ask, What will that give me that I don’t already have?
You will reach the basic, underlying need or value, after asking this 5 to 7 times.

The question “What will that give me that I don’t already have?”, can be replaced with “Why is that important?”

Another way, is through meditation and hypnosis.

You can take a free Emotional Intelligence Test here.

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The I Love Your Blog Award

Friday, September 12, 2008 4 comments

Lea at Ocean of Perspectives has honored me by presenting “Valley of the Subconscious” with the “I love your blog” award. Thank you Lea, it is always nice when you put so much into something, to know that others are appreciating it. I love your blog also, and had you not presented me with the award, you would have been on my list.

Now it is my duty to pass this award on to others:

Here are the directions for passing the award:
Directions to pass it on are as follows:

1. The writer can put the logo on his/her blog

2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours, and
5. Leave a message on the blogs that you’ve mentioned.

I now pass this award on to:

All of the following write from their heart, and I love what they do, and peaking within their mind.

Robin’s Nest
200 Sacred Words
Black Tie and Sneakers
The Eagle The Lion and the Dove

Although my son, and one and only child, is grown, I worked very hard at giving him the best that I could. Not always succeeding, but doing the best that I could with what I had to work with, the knowledge and emotional support I had at the time. The children are our future. This blog is dedicated to supplying those children with the best future that you are able to give them.

My Barefoot Journey

Keep up the great work everyone, you are appreciated.

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Dedication to 9/11 Hereos, Victims, and Survivors and to Our Nation United

Thursday, September 11, 2008 0 comments

There is a lot of speculation about who the terrorists really were and for what purpose, among the American people, and the World, for that matter. The acts of these terrorists, whoever they were, and wherever they came from, and for whatever purpose this act served to create, it caused the American people to unite. Even though it may have been under deceptive reasons, we as Americans had almost forgotten what it meant to unite. To all lay down our differences and prejudices and band together for a common purpose.

We lost so very much that day. We lost security, peace, loved ones, but we gained unity…even if for a short time.

Only the terrorists truly know who they are, and why, and what they believed they had to accomplish, but irregardless of their purpose, they created heroes. Not created, but brought forth HEROES. They brought forth COURAGE. They brought forth PERCERVERANCE. They brought forth PRIDE. They brought forth UNITY.


The following is an email sent by Seth Castleman after and 9/11 attach:

Subj: news from the rubble Date: Friday, September 14, 2001 2:46:43 PM From: c (Seth Castleman)

Dear friends and family,

The first moment to write and the hands not yet steady on the keyboard.

Firstly, I hope I have not added to anyone's worry, by not checking in sooner. I am alive and physically unhurt. I was ironing a shirt to leave for an errand at Park Place when I got the call about the disaster Monday morning. Park Place, I have been told, was crushed by part of the falling buildings. Since mid-day Monday I have been mostly at the sight helping with relief efforts.

The world is a whirl of love and sorrow.

What follows my be well short of organized and only bordering on coherent, but considering the state of things, perhaps it is appropriate. I wanted to share some experiences, to help let them go, and to bring more people together in the communal suffering and supporting.

First: The despair and frustration and sorrow and fear that we are all feeling. The helplessness. We all wish we could just get our hands on something to do. I do not know how you can help, other than to pray and bear witness. You have likely seen news more than I have over these days, so I cannot tell people how to offer support. I do not know if this is still the case, as I have been home for the last 12 hours getting some sleep, but for the 2 days prior we were having to turn away many volunteers. So much good will and so little that we can do.

The volunteer effort of thousands, while very disorganized and right and left often unaware of the other, is in very good spirits with great depths of kindness and strength. I have fallen in love and made dozens of dear friends, as the best in people shines through in such times.

I have spent most of these days at Chelsea Piers, coordinating the crisis unit for families looking for loved ones, and then at ground zero amidst rubble and dust and shocked sullen faces doing chaplaincy and crisis counseling and coordinating counseling for the rescue workers.

People come in to the Chelsea Pier unit after visiting every hospital in the city, desperate for some news. The volunteer counselors and chaplains fill out missing persons reports, sit with them, look at photos together, weep, laugh, sit in silence. We give out hospital phone numbers, let them see lists of the confirmed safe, enter all the data and scan photos for a FEMA database of missing persons. We hold hands and counsel and encourage people perhaps to go home and be together with loved ones, as there is little else to do. The waiting and not knowing is the most difficult part, not sure whether to hope or mourn, the families feel helpless and overwhelmed with fear.

At ground zero there is equal helplessness. We are counseling firefighters, EMTs, iron workers, and police as they come out of the rubble. For the families it is horrible not to know, for these guys it is horrible to know.

I talked with no one who had found a body. Only parts. Masses of pieces. Collecting fingers by the hundreds, finger printing them and throwing them into bags, sorting by size. Pediatrics here, adults here... An army man in post traumatic stress, weeping about scooping up guts, about reaching into crevasses to grasp a hand, only a hand.

How devastating to return to the family crisis unit after spending all night hearing these stories from the men in the rubble.

And God, as if to say, Do not take this to mean that The Presence is not here, appeared in moments and miracles. A man on the 82 floor. The plane hit that floor and the enormous blast shot him out the window. Somehow he clung to the ledge outside and when the building came down he went down with it, sliding miraculously down the outside. He broke both his legs, yet lived to tell his story.

A firefighter from upstate I sat with for an hour next to the rubble. He found a body of a young Asian man, flattened to just a few inches. The form was covered in another inch or two of dust. (there are no cement blocks to move, as all the cement and sheet rock crumbled to a fine and asbestos filled dust which covers the ground and fills the air.) The body was almost invisible under the dust, yet in the beam of his light something shown. The left hand was grey like everything else, but on one finger was a gold wedding band, uncovered and shining clean, a golden line in a sea of deathly grey. We mused together whether another worker had been there first and cleaned it off ‹ and if so why he hadn't collected the body ‹ or if an angel had passed by.

Shannon, a small retriever dog, sniffed and saved five people at the Pentagon, then came here to find another four. At least ten dogs have been killed in the wreckage. They dig when they smell human, lie down when they smell dead body. Almost no barks, and lying down is easier and easier as the smell turns to stench.

My tag says chaplain, so people come up to talk, pray, breath, or just be silent together. I am struck how much The Presence (as God is sometimes called) can so be found in the presence held between two people.

In the notebook I am using for volunteer names and numbers and random details, I came across a note to myself that I wrote on Sunday night before the disaster. In the holocaust no one was there to bear witness. People either oppressed or were oppressed, helped or turned their eyes away. What would happen if people opened their hearts and truly watched in Jerusalem.

Can we deeply accept tragedy with an open heart, then move to heal and help from the seat of witness. The atoms that change when watched, becomes the world that has been transformed.

At ground zero, amidst all the togetherness and kindness and effort, still thoughts and talk of those who planned this disaster.

It is strange. I can only imagine the motives of those who committed these acts. Undoubtedly they were frustrated, hurt. Undoubtedly they felt politically, economically, culturally, and individually helpless, frustrated, afraid, and angry. These feelings are universal, the world filled with sorrow. The rescue workers, the families, the world, all feeling helpless, afraid, frustrated, and angry with this disaster. What motivates the killer so too inspires the healers, the actions so profoundly different, the initial spark perhaps the same.

I don't know if I am making this clear, but it feels so important. Will the heart open or close? Will we take our sadness and let it harden or let it melt? Do we allow it to turn to hatred or to love? They say the heart cannot fully love until it is broken; only the shattered vessel can hold water. So too only a broken heart can harden into hatred. Only shattered shards become boxcutters and knives. How easily these feelings can turn. Food that one day can nourish us and save our lives, turns rancid and will kill. Love and hatred, good and evil, they seem so far apart, but no further than water is from ice, and ice from turning back to water.

The Atrium, filled with palm trees in the Amex Building at the World Trade Center. Where chamber orchestras once played now is eerily silent. The banners are faded of their writing, ripped and dangling like sails of a pirate ship found on a deserted island. Tangled steel cuts the view of sky through shattered portals. And through the dust and smoke and sounds of slogging feet through water, comes the yellow slice of moon. Only she, it seems is consistent. Later, just before dawn she has ascended above the cloud.

So much devastation, the earth and the psyche marred with death‹

And still a beautiful new moon,

Rising white and Untouched above our sorrow.

Thank you for letting me share some of my thoughts and feelings. Feel free to pass them along. My phone is only sometimes working. I have a handful of other cell phones and walky talkies, but best not to call. In an emergency, land line at home is: [number deleted]

Much love,

Seth Castleman

List of Victims from 9/11:

Flight 93
World Trade Center


On Sacred Ground - see photos of the proposed memorial for the victims of 9/11
Flight 93 Memorial Plans
Pentagon Memorial Plans
World Trade Center Site Plans

Survivor Stories from September 11, 2001 tragedy:

9/11 Survivor Staircase to Be Removed
William Rodrigues, a 9/11 Survivor
Story of Adam Mayblum
9/11 Survivor Returns to Tell Story of Hope
And many more, including stories from the "Victims Survivors"

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Some Amazing Things You May Not Know About Your Body

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 4 comments

Let’s see if you know any of these:

1. Your tongue has it’s own exclusive tongue print, similar to the distinctiveness of your fingerprint.
NOTE: When the doctor asks you to stick out your tongue, it isn’t only to stick the tongue suppressor in their, it is part of his examination of the state of your health. Want to know what your tongue is saying about your health?

2. Did you know that a baby has more bones than an adult? Yep, it’s true! During our growth, some of the bones fuse together. While we are born with 350 bones, when we are an adult, we only have 206. An adult human head is approximately 1/8 of our total length, while an infants is ¼ of its total length, at birth.

3. If our blood vessels were laid end to end they would extend $60,000 miles, and the heart pumps approximately 2000 gallons of blood through them everyday. Wow, now that’s a lot of miles. Think about that on your next vacation.

4. What smells around here? Your nose is capable of remembering 50,000 different scents.

5. I found what smells…A pair of human feet can sweat over a pint of day, with it’s 500,000 sweat glands.

6. Are you aware that you shed approximately 600,000 particles of your skin about every hour, approximately 1.5 pounds a year, and that for every inch of skin on your body, there are around 32 million bacteria? Don’t panic, most of them are good.

7. Did you know that in your lifetime, that most people will generate approximately 25,000 quarts of saliva?

8. They say that by the age of 60, that 40% of women and 60% of men will snore, and that although the average snore will reach 60 decibels, about the same as normal speech, but it can reach up to 80 decibels, which in just 5 decibels below what is considered harmful to our ears.

9. The air produced by a human sneeze is capable of traveling 100 miles per hour, plus. “Well blow me down”!

10. While the average of hair follicles on a human head is 100,000, and each one has the ability to produce 20 individual hairs during your lifetime, however, all hair colors are not created equal.

  • Blondes average 146,000
  • Black average 110,000
  • Brown average 100,000
  • Redheads average 86,000
11. You can go eleven days without sleep, but anymore than that will kill you.

12. Nails grow approximately 1/10 of an inch a month; your fingernails grow faster than toenails; they grow faster on your longest fingers, and faster on the hand you write with.

13. Because the acid in your stomach that digests food would digest your stomach also, you get a new stomach lining about every 3 or 4 days.

14. Is small intestine is around 18 to 23 feet long. Gees, between your small intestines and blood vessels…

Reference: How Stuff Works

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My Experience With TVs Depot aka Fotoconnection aka etc., and the Scams That They Pull

Thursday, September 04, 2008 3 comments

The purpose of this blog is not for my rants, however, I have just been subjected to some of the worst and deceptive customer service that I have ever experienced in my lifetime. I feel that others should be aware of the experience before they themselves are subjected to the same treatment.

This is what happened and my opinions of these events, along with documentation from others that also shared my experience, and research.

On August 31, 2008 I purchased a Fuji Finepix S700 Package 1, which included a UV filter, 1 GB XD card, USB XD card reader, camera bag, full size tripod, LCD screen protector, lens/LCD cleaning system, and the new factory sealed camera, 4x AA alkaline batteries, USB cable, A/V cable, lens cap, lens cap cord, shoulder strap, software CD-ROM (FinePixViewer-S), owners manual, 1 Year Limited USA Warranty, for $159.00, from TVs Depot, online.

On Tuesday, September 2, 2008, I received a call of them, where the representative proceeded to tell me that the camera would not work without an additional battery pack, which he was willing to sell me at this one time offer of $39.99. I told him that this camera was new and sealed from the factory, and that it came with 4 AA batteries, to which he insisted that was not sufficient to operate the camera. There was nothing in the literature, or on the website that stated anything about needing to buy any additional parts to operate this camera, and I found this to be deceptive practices. He just kept telling me that the camera would not operate without this battery pack, so I told him to cancel the order all together.

Then he wanted to argue with me over the fact that I wanted to cancel the order, and that they had the lowest price around, and I was welcome to go to Circuit City and pay several hundred dollars more. I instructed him to cancel the order and abruptly ended the conversation, by hanging up. Then I called Fuji and asked if this was in fact true what I had been told, and they informed me that all that was needed was 4 AA batteries, which came with the basic camera purchase.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got, so I called TVs Depot back, and spoke with another representative. I told him what had transpired. He also proceeded to start an argument with me. Stating that it needed the batteries to operate, to which I informed him that I had spoken to Fuji themselves, and that all that was required to operate the camera was 4 AA batteries, which came with the basic camera plan. He responded to this by babbling some bullshit jargon about how they were a wholesale company, also referring to how much more expensive Circuit City was, which sells this exact same camera for $20.00 more than they do, by the way, minus the shipping and handling. They do not, however, sell the added bonus items for the same price; however, I did not bother to mention this fact to this imbecile. I told him that Circuit City was not the issue here, the issue was that I received a call from one of their representatives, that told me I had to spend an additional $39.00 to purchase a battery pack that he insisted the camera would not work without, and that the camera would not operate with the 4 AA batteries that came with it, which was a bold face lie! Instead of admitting that they were both liars, he tried to flip the whole thing on me, by trying to insult my intelligence, and stating that apparently I had no idea what a battery pack even was, and insisted that I explain to him my complete knowledge of what the definition of a battery pack was. My knowledge of what a battery was consisted of was irrelevant, the fact still remained that all the camera needed was the batteries that came with it. Well of course it needs batteries to operate, he kept repeating.

I told him I wanted the original package that I purchased, to which he replied that it was cancelled the moment I requested that, and that once it was cancelled it was not their policy to un-cancel an order.

I later went back to that site to compare features and prices with another company that offered a similar price, only to find out that they had raised the package that I had purchased from $159.00 to $189.00.

Hmm, guess that answers that.

It also appears that this company also goes by the names of: Fotoconnection;; ephotoclub;;;TheNewConnection; GBShopping;;, and Superior Dealz, that I am aware of at this moment.

This is the report on them at the Better Business Bureau.

Here is a lot of research a pissed off customer has done on the owners, along with a few other names that they may go by. This person has gone so far as to get pictures of their stores, along with a lot of other information.

A very informative article from PC World that exposes some of the other companies, along with the tactics that they use. If you are planning on buying electronics online, you need to be aware. A MUST READ.

Here are 594 negative reviews on this company from just one site, for your viewing pleasure.

134 here of which 89 are negative and 5 are neutral.

Others who have experienced the same type of treatment from the same company, as shown here.

And if you keep looking, you continue to find more, and more, and more; too many to list here. This company did me a big favor by canceling the order the way that they did, and refusing to go ahead with it. I should at least thank them for that.

I should have done my research before I placed the order, instead of waiting for the negative experience to motivate me. Please do not make the same mistake! There are also several Price Comparison Sites that show each one of these companies, including the ones that are listed in the PC World article. So please be aware when you use these sites.

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