Valley of the Subconscious: August 2008

Resentment - What Are The Implications?

Sunday, August 31, 2008 Labels: Are You Lying to Yourself?, Emotions, It's All Just An Illusion, Our Defense Mechanisms 3 comments

I write and study about relationships, on my blog “Open Your Heart to the Love”, and how the mind works, as I do mostly here on this blog, as a way of learning about myself, and the idiosyncrasies of the thoughts, reactions, and behaviors that make up who I am. Why is it that sometimes I behave in ways that go against my own values, and against whom it is that I desire to be as a person?

No one truly ever knows us, as much as they may think that they do. We ourselves, do not even totally know ourselves. How is it that someone else could possibly? For they are only seeing the portion of yourself that you are allowing them to see, or portraying yourself to be, they can not reach into the depths of your mind. Although, those around us, see a part of us, and things about our character, as bystanders and observers, that we are unable to be objective enough to see; but then again, they are looking through the mask of their own bias and perceptions, that have been formed through their own life experiences and teachings.

I am currently quite unhappy with myself. When something happens in our lives that we do not expect, it forces us to re-evaluate our understanding of the world. I have found myself in a position where I have not only needed, but been forced to accept the graciousness of others. I resent the fact that I need the help, and oddly enough, rather than being able to fully enjoy the gratitude that I should be feeling, I find myself growing in resentment towards those that have extended me their helping hand. Crass? That is certainly the way the other half of me see myself. That other half that knows the way I am feeling is irrational.

I feel like a complete and total failure, because of the fact that I need help to begin with, and therefore, every time a hand is extended that I deem to have no other choice but to take, only makes me resent them, because of it. I don’t want to experience the pain of feeling like a failure, or accept that I have no apparent control over this area of my life, so in an attempt to escape myself, I turn that disappointment and anger on them instead. It’s an emotional defense mechanism; one of those ways of avoiding our unpleasant emotions. Addictions, as in, over eating, not eating, drinking, drugs, etc., are all other ways we humans use to avoid those things that we don’t want to face, along with denial, and a whole list of other evasions.

Unfortunately, in my case, as with so many, when that helping hand is extended, normally along with it comes the false declaration of unconditionality, which in most cases, if not all, is falsely declared. For the saying, “nothing comes for free”, is always the case. There is always a price, whether it comes through money, or some other means of sacrifice. That is not to say that the one making the claim to unconditionality, does not truly believe it themselves at the time of declaration, however, they themselves, have a way of feeling resentment, when it is not returned in some way.

Also, there is the issue that with extending those hands, along with it comes the feelings of pride and grandeur, at the expense of the shortcomings and failure of another. That may not be the initial intention in some cases, although it is always there. Am I attempting to punish them for those feelings of grandness at my expense?

Only I have the power to change the way I am feeling, for along with resentment also comes victim hood. Am I subconsciously holding, brewing, and fertilizing my feelings of resentment in some attempt to allow my victim hood to expand? I hate the feeling of weakness, and victim hood, but is it serving me in some way; other than, in an attempt, to pass the blame of my dilemma on to another, or the circumstances surrounding it? Resentment serves no real purpose, other than to poison our own selves. So is there some underlying reason that I feel that I should punish myself? Especially when knowing the destruction that I am causing my own wellbeing? Could I be holding myself under some impossible ideal? Am I using it in an attempt to convince myself of my own importance? For they say that emotions such as resentment, are more dependant on inner need, than outer circumstances, for it is my own decisions, and conduct that brought me to this place of unhappiness.

I feel powerless to change the current circumstances, which infuriates me, and yet I am so willing to render myself even more powerless, by passing this feeling on to others. Is this my attempt at pushing them away, for they say that resentment is a wall, it is a resistance, a defense.

The fact still remains, it is not truly them that I am angry with, although they are the ones that I am directing it toward. It is me, and the frustration of the situation that I am angry with, and only I can change the way that I feel.

I’m going to leave you with just one more thought to ponder. Isn’t it amazing how a split second decision, can change your whole life and world? And had you chosen any one of the other options, it could have had a totally and completely different outcome, and those split second decisions not only effect you, but many others around you. So not only your life would have followed a completely different path, but so too, would have theirs. What appears to be a minor decision, leads us down a path of what appears to be, unrelated pleasure or calamity.

The first image was from flickr.com by G. Muncaster, titled "Insanity Is Just A Thought Away"

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Monkey See, Monkey Do - Are You Relating to the Actions and Emotions of Others?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 Labels: Body Language, Did You Know?, Psychological Studies, Rapport 2 comments

We all have done it. You watch a heart wrenching movie and you sit there and cry, just as if you are the actual person that it is happening to. Or you see an accident happen, and you gasp, your heart races, you feel sick to your stomach, your face wiggles into all sorts of contortions, you feel weak in the knees, and run to help. How many of you have watched any of the 9/11 tapes, and not had your heart feel the despair.

As I have written before, we are constantly trying to make sense of the world around us. I have also written about body language, and how 55% of our communication is visual (though our body language and the eyes). To varying degrees, all of us care about what those round us, are thinking of us, and if we are being accepted, or not. It’s also how we begin to develop how we perceive ourselves, through the reflection of others, and their behavior toward us.

From the time we are born, we start mirroring those around us. That is how we learn, as infants and partially throughout our lives; copying what we see and hear from those we come in contact with. We learn how to behave, how to accomplish a new task, by watching and listening, touching, smelling, tasting. We are taking it all in, and interpreting it all, and attempting to copy what we see and hear.

In order to live peacefully and prosper in society, we have to have empathy, and it is essential in a very close relationship. For without it, as some criminals and some psychopaths are unable to do, we would be capable of all sorts of mayhem toward our fellow man. But it is our ability to put ourselves in someone elses shoe’s, which helps us to reason away from carrying out those atrocities.

Scientists are finding out more and more about this powerful word, and phenomenon; for it is our ability to have empathy that helps to communicate, socialize, and to understand the actions of other people. They have conducted numerous studies on this. It was Giacomo Rizzatti, MD, a Neuroscientist, along with his colleagues at The University of Parma, who originally discovered mirror neurons in monkeys. Mirror neurons are neurons in our brain that fire when we both perform an action and feel a mood, and watch the same action being performed, or observe a mood by others. The original studies showed that when a monkey picked up a piece of food that certain neurons responded, and that when they observed a piece of food being picked up, that some of the same neurons again responded. It has also been found that people with autism lack the ability to recognize emotions in others, as well as themselves, and they are hoping and excited that the new studies may help them discover new treatments.

When we are observing people that we dislike, the response of the neurons are significantly decreased. The neurons still fire, but not as dense and as long, as they otherwise would for someone that we like or love, or even don’t know.

Many more studies are forthcoming; however, they believe that this is partially how we interpret what goes on around us, and also, to perceive the actions or intentions of others. They believe that this is empathy in action. It’s one of our mind’s ways of cataloging information about our surroundings, and using that to determine what our own feelings and reactions are going to be.

This is why hypnosis works so well. Instead of going to its prior storehouse of patterns and behaviors, hypnosis has you visualize, imagine and experience,- a new way of behaving, which in turn, gives your mind a new option, instead of relying on the same old, no longer useful way.

Scientists have also found that some people have very active mirror neurons, and they can actually feel something happening to someone else, as if it is happening to them. In other words, if they observe someone else hit their hand with a hammer, they actually feel the pain in their own hand. They have termed this phenomenon as mirror-touch synesthesia, which is a condition that causes them to feel the touches that they see other people receive. To make it even more interesting, it happens just as if looking in a mirror, as the name implies. For example, if they observe someone that they are facing hit their left hand with the hammer, they will feel it in their right hand. However, if they are standing beside them, then they would feel it in the same hand. These people are also very attuned to the emotions of those around them. However, they are able to distinguish between a real touch and the mirror touch, according to a study performed by British neuroscientists.

Sarah Jane-Blakemore, a cognitive neuroscientist at the University College London, was giving a lecture in 2003, where she stated during the lecture that she had heard of such people. One of the women in the audience responded with shock that this did not happen to everyone. It was later found through research, that eleven other women in her family experienced color-grapheme synesthesia, which is where colors are associated with words, numbers, or letters.

And guys, it has been shown that 80% of expectant fathers feel “sympathy pains”, or symptoms for their pregnant wives, including hormonal changes, in some cases.

So there you have it. Make sure you watch the next heart wrenching movie, that you have someone warm and cuddly next to you. You can’t help but feel the emotions.

YouTube video

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Doctor, Doctor! What's Wrong With My Eyes?

Thursday, August 14, 2008 Labels: Are You Lying to Yourself? It's All Just An Illusion, Perception 4 comments

Our brain has a way of making shortcuts to process information…an auto-pilot, so to speak, that takes care of so many of our tasks, so that we don’t have to stop and think about it, and process how to react. Driving a car for example; when we are first learning to drive, we have to think about just about every move we make; however, once we have learned this skill, we do it on auto-pilot, pretty much. The subconscious mind takes over.

This is why we get ourselves into so many emotional dilemmas. Because as children, in most cases, we experienced something and behaved a certain way, to get our way, and now the brain has stored that memory in it’s neat, tidy, little holding spot on the shelf, and when you experience something similar, rather than to have to stop and process how you should react, it runs and grabs that memory, and uses it for your current behavior. You have no idea what’s happening. It’s all part of our primitive survival instinct. When a bear is charging, you don’t have time to stop and assess the situation, you mind goes on auto-pilot, and you either freeze, or run.

Each one of us sees and experiences everything differently based on our own perceptions and life experiences. Just ask a cop who has spoken to several witnesses of a crime, or accident.

We lie to ourselves in so many different ways, and I have written a couple of articles on this all ready; “We Are All So Bias, Yes You Are”, and “Cognitive Dissonance One of Our Defense Mechanisms.”

But this article is on visual and/or optical illusion, are you really seeing the truth?

If you are interested in knowing all of the ins, outs and whys there is a good book that was written by Matthew Luckiesh in 1922, that you can read online for free.

How we perceive things by our senses and interpret them has a lot to do with our perception, which is influenced by events in our lives and our beliefs and values. We are always trying to interpret what we see in our lives, and make sense of the world around us.

Our mind plays all kinds of tricks on us, which is the case of an optical and/or visual illusion is our mind causing us to see something that may or may not be there. Our mind looks for patterns and shapes. According to the Gestalt Principles of Grouping who’s prominent founders were Max Wertheimer, Wolfgang Kohler, and Kurt Koffka, our mind tries to organize things into four groups.

Similarity states that the mind will see things that share the same texture, color, size, shape, or value as being grouped together.

Proximity states that even if shapes, sizes and objects are different, we tend to group them together because objects and shapes that a close together appear to us to form groups, as in the image above, we tend to see three columns of two lines, as opposed to six rows. This can be achieved with tone/value, color, shape, size, along with other attributes.

Continuity is our tendency to see patterns that are grouped together if they form a pattern and perceive them as belonging together, and tend to continue shapes beyond their ending points. This also relates to the closure principle.

Closure where the brain recognizes a pattern, even though, in this case, it is not closed, the brain fills in the missing pieces, and we tend to see a complete picture.

Camouflage where something blends into the background due to having the same colors and pattern as its surroundings. Out military uses this illusion. The cat burglars slinking through the night dressed in black.

Perceptual constancy refers to our ability to perceive things differently without having to re-interpret the objects properties. For instance, when you see something at a distance it looks very small, however, as you move closer to it, it appears to get larger. The size, shape and brightness can affect this. Shape for instance is our ability to recognize that an object is round, even though at a certain angle, it will appear differently. As for color, we know that an object is the same color even though under certain lighting conditions, it will appear to be a different color or shade.

Larger objects appear closer.

Textured items appear smoother at a distance and on a similar token, object that appear blurry, appear to be farther away than items that appear to be in focus.

Objects covering other objects appear closer.

The shading of an objects shadow can help to perceive the distance, or at least give us a clue.

Due to our perception of the horizon, things in our lower sphere of vision appear closure, and those in our upper sphere of vision appear farther away.

Artists use these concepts in their artwork to help to create depth and a 3D effect.

In an effort to create harmony in what appears to be disconnected bits and pieces of information, our brain attempts to visually and psychologically make order out of all the chaos.

Can you read this text? If you can, it will explain why.

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr t he ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Which way is the silhouette turning? Clockwise or counter clockwise? If you blink, or watch the tip of the toe of her extended foot as it becomes hidden, you can make her turn the opposite direction. Sometimes it is hard to do, but is possible. It appears that most people originally perceive her as moving clockwise originally. The original of this illusion was originally displayed here.

I have set up another post showing many visual illusions for you to have fun with here. So click on over and have fun.

Don’t forget to stop by these other posts, for loads of visual and/or optical illusions..

Faces, Faces, Where Are All The Faces?

Is It My Eyes, Or Is My Mind Playing Tricks On Me?

Visual and/or Optical Illusion Pictures

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Faces, Faces, Where Are All The Faces?

Labels: Are You Lying to Yourself? It's All Just An Illusion 1 comments

Where are all the faces? Can you find them all? Click on the illusions to see what you can find.

I find an Indian woman, a woman laying on her stomach, bear, hawk, tiger, horse, swan, and a wolf.
By: Jonathon Earl Bowser
Go by his site, there are so many more magnificent art pieces there.

You should find 13 faces, can you find them all?

Animals, faces, people. What all do you see?

By: Octavio Ocampo

Celestial Bodies

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Is It My Eyes, Or Is My Mind Playing Tricks On Me?

Labels: Are You Lying to Yourself? It's All Just An Illusion 0 comments

None of these images are animated. Click on the illusions to make them larger.

Hmmm, veeery interesting!

Where's the baby?

Portrait of an old man, or maiden sitting on a bank, an old tree, an old tree stump, a couple of houses. What else can you find?

Salvadore Dali illusion. Portrait of old man, or fair maiden?

Squares A and B are both the same color. Your going to have to take my word on this one.

Vase, or two faces facing each other?

There is a man's face in there, can you find it? Hint at the bottom of the page.
He's there, keep looking.

Fish or sailboats?

Lovers in a bottle, or dolphins at play. Children have a tendency to see the dolphins.

Are these elephants the same size, or are they progressively getting smaller. Fooled ya, they are all the same size. Don't believe me you say. Measure them. And you thought I was the one that was lying. Shame on you!

How about these tables? Yep, you guessed it, same size.

The next pictures need to be enlarged by clicking on them to get the correct effect.

Concentrate on one of the yellow dots, the others will disappear.

Concentrate on the dot in the middle. The pink dots begin to disappear.

Look at the black dot in the center and then move your head closer and farther away.

Are the circles moving? Move your head closer and farther away, and then what happens?

Look at the black dot in the center, and then move your head closer and further from the screen. Are the circles moving?

Our eye's blind spot.

How many black dots do you see? Can you count them? Well there aren't any at all. Fooled ya!

HINT: On bean picture.
Look in the lower portion of the picture near the left hand side.

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Visual and/or Optical Illusion Pictures

Labels: Are You Lying to Yourself? It's All Just An Illusion 0 comments

Click on the illusion to make it larger.

Portrait of an elderly man, or fair maiden with her baby, sleeping dog, and elderly man? There are 9 faces in this image, can you find them all? What else can you find? By Oclavio Ocampo. Go by his site, there is much more fascinating artwork there to see.